I was in my 20’s when I was introduced to the idea of self-development. At work I started getting feedback – some of it felt like punches in the guts – and then development was offered to fix the parts of me that were apparently broken or wrong.
One amazing boss gave feedback in a heart-led way, but still the undercurrent was to make me ‘better’ – and that being ‘better me’ was attached to performance reviews and promotions and money. Which looked necessary - and another reflection of whether I was good enough.
Inevitably from that understanding I worked hard to improve, wanting the good performance reviews and promotions. Clearly also in competition with others’ around me - only so many promotions and money to go round afterall. Plus I wanted to do a good job and I wanted to make a difference - those things would also apparently make me a better me.